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Considering Adoption - what you need to know

There are many reasons why a couple would choose to adopt.  Some couples have trouble conceiving naturally, and simply don't have the money for expensive processes like in-vitro.  This is especially true for most because, despite the number of fertilized eggs that are inseminated, there really is no guarantee of pregnancy.  And, on top of that, if pregnancy does result, it is quite likely that there will be multiple children rather than one.  In other cases, couples don't want to risk passing down a family disease or disorder by creating a child together, but still wish to have a family.  But whatever the reason, medical or emotional (or both), adoption can be a wonderful experience for both the parents and the child.  Of course, the first step in having a wonderful experience is to know how the process works and how to properly get started.

Know what you want
The first thing anyone should know before considering adoption is that there are different ways to go about it.  You could choose to adopt an international child, an American child, a child you already know or are related to by blood or marriage, a child with disabilities, a child of another race, and more.  It's important to know exactly what you want before you begin to keep things from becoming too complicated down the road.

To help keep your options clear, here are a few questions you should ask yourself before ever contacting an agency. 

(this list of questions and more detailed information can be found @ http://www.adoption.org)

  

1. What age child do you want to adopt?
- teen
- grade school
- pre-k
- infant

2. Do you want a child who is from the United States or another country?    

3. Do you want to adopt a specific child you saw in an agencies ad or website?    

4. Do you have a home study?  (a home study is the approval process that occurs after several meetings between you, your partner, and a social work while in your own home.)
For this you will need:
- a marriage license
- birth certificate
- personal references
- a child abuse clearance report
- and several other official documents

Do you want to adopt a child you already know?    
- stepchild
- unmarried partner's child
-  foster child
- relatives or friend's child

5. What else is important to you about the child you plan to adopt?    
- Will you adopt siblings?
- Will you adopt a child with physical disabilities?
- Will you adopt a child with emotional or learning problems?
- Will you adopt a child of a minority race?
- Will you adopt a child whose race is different from your own?
- would you like contact with the child's birth family?

After completing the above process, you will need to contact an agency.  At this point, it is important that you practice extra precaution.  The danger here is that many criminals have and will pose as adoption agencies in order to both manipulate you and take your time and money.  Always check, re-check, and check again an agencies licenses and credentials.  Once you are confident they are a legitimate and reputable agency, you can begin.  The law states that you must work with an agency in the state where you reside. 

Selecting your agency
Before making your decision, it is important that you get the proper information.
- Are there any fees, hidden or up front?
- What types of children have they placed?
- How do they assess families?
- How long does the average adoption take?

And finally, it is also a good idea to speak to someone who has used the agency before.

Know you are ready to get started!  For more detailed information on adoption, what to expect and how to move forward, please visit theadoptionguide.com or the National Adoption Center's web site, adopt.org!

This blog post was provided by Stephanie Parker – our blog writer extraordinaire!

Miscarriage - Why does it happen? When are you safe?

A miscarriage is a serious and traumatic event that no family should have to suffer through.  Unfortunately, miscarriages are quite common, affecting one in every eight pregnancies.  So it is our responsibility as expecting mother's and father's to educate ourselves. 

A miscarriage is the spontaneous abortion or death of the fetus within the first 20 weeks of pregnancy.  According to various studies, 15 to 20% of expectant women (not including artificially inseminated women) experience a miscarriage within their first trimester.  80% of those women will experience the loss within the first 12 weeks.  Babies lost any time after the initial 20 week period are referred to as stillborn. 

Why does it happen?

Sadly, nearly 70% of all first trimester miscarriages are simply the result of chromosome abnormalities.  This means that either the sperm, the egg, or both did not have the right amount of chromosomes, and was unable to continue development.  Or, in some cases, structural flaws in the embryo can prevent further development, or the egg can fail to attach itself to the uterine wall.  There are many causes that simply cannot be avoided.  Both parents could be in perfect health, and it would not prevent these random occurrences from happening.  It is for this reason that physicians don't normally examine a woman after she miscarries once.  Only after repeated incidents (usually 2 or 3)  will a doctor see fit to examine and investigate for other possible causes.  And even after a full round of testing, there is still only a 50% chance of finding an exact cause and coming up with a preventative measure. 

When is it safe?

Once your baby's heart is beating, your odds of miscarrying your child drop dramatically.  Read below to find out what outside factors can put you at an even greater risk for having a miscarriage.

- Women over 40 are at a greater risk for miscarriage than their younger peers.  Also, men over 40 can raise the risk of creating a fertilized egg that will not gestate properly.

- Women who have miscarried before have a mildly increased risk.

- Uncontrolled diseases/disorders raise your risk for miscarriage.  Specifically, diabetes, problems blood clotting, autoimmune disorders, and hormone problems all increase one's risks.

- Having a weak uterine wall or a short cervix ( AKA cervical insufficiency) can increase your risk for miscarriage.

- Having a history of genetic problems/defects.

- Having ever suffered from cytomgalovirus, parvovirus, gonorrhea, HIV, and other such infections.

- Substance abuse of any kind WILL increase your risk of miscarriage and many other problems.  (this includes drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol.)

- Ask your doctor about taking certain medications while you are pregnant, over the counter or prescription, as these may increase your risk for miscarriage.

- Exposure to strong chemicals and radiation increase your risk.

- And finally, your risk for miscarriage rises each time you become pregnant within 3 months of giving birth to another child.

- Your risk of miscarriage also rises with each child you bear and if you get pregnant within three months after giving birth.

There is hope.

Before you panic, know that there is always hope.  It may be a common occurrence, but the more you know, the more prepared you will be!  Talk to your doctor and follow his/her advice to the letter.  Take it easy.  Be mindful of your medications.  And RELAX.  One of the worst things for a pregnancy is excessive stress. 

Just remember, know the risks to lower the risks.

This blog post was provided by Stephanie Parker – our blog writer extraordinaire!

Mommy Groups - Finding one or starting your own!

One of the best ways a woman can deal with stress in her life is to group together with other women who are going through the same thing.  Pregnancy is no exception.

Don't isolate yourself during this emotional and exciting time.  Instead, share it with others.  Cheer someone else on.  Open yourself up and you might be surprised by what you can receive and what you can give to another. 

Read on to find out how you can find a group like this, or even start one yourself!  

Location, location, location.
Depending on where you live, finding a mother's group may be as simple as picking up a flyer, or as difficult as starting one from scratch.  In larger, more populated areas, you might simply search the paper or call the local hospital.  In smaller, less populated areas you may need to ask around.  News and helpful information often spreads through word of mouth in rural communities.  Don't be afraid to introduce yourself to new people.  Who knows, the next person you speak to might end up becoming a close friend.

A few key places to call: hospitals, day care centers, churches, universities, schools, and libraries.

DIY
In some cases, there may not be a mother's group.  But don't give up!  Instead, start one yourself.  Ever heard the old expression, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained"?  Well, in this case it's true.  If you don't step up and get the ball rolling maybe nobody will.  And wouldn't that be a shame? 

It's really not as hard as it sounds.  Just gather your courage and start a conversation with another mother.  Whether she's a friend or a complete stranger, you will both have one thing in common... you're moms!  If she has a two year old and you are only expecting, ask her for advice.  If you're both pregnant, talk about those carvings, your aches and pains, or whatever ails you.  Share and you will eventually be shared with.

Once you have made a connection with at least one woman, the two of you can reach out to another, and another.  Eventually, you'll be laughing and crying together and handing out flyers on the weekends.

Just remember, a group starts one person at a time.

Think outside the box and inside the monitor.
The web can be an excellent source for support groups.  After all, online you have the whole world at your fingertips, rather than just a handful of people from your community.  Of course, it can also be a bit more difficult to make a real connection, but with a little effort and an open mind it could turn out to be an excellent experience. 

* tip: it might make things a bit more personal to use web-cams when meeting with your Internet mommy friends.  - however, use caution when dealing with information about your location, number, and personal other personal info.

Keep it cozy.
Sometimes support groups can be large and impersonal.  If this is the case, don't be afraid to bond with just a few of the ladies and get together separately for more intimate discussions.  You might even consider meeting just for fun.  Perhaps a movie or game night?  It's all up to you and how personal you want this to be for yourself.

This blog post was provided by Stephanie Parker – our blog writer extraordinaire!

Free Giveaway Winner for November!

Congratulations to Elizabeth G. of Passaic, NJ!  She was Juno Baby's November winner of our monthly free giveaway contest.  Each month, a new member will be randomly selected and offered a Juno Baby product of their choice. This month, Elizabeth chose Juno's Rhythm Adventure.  If you'd like to be entered for December, all you have to do is join the club!  By joining, you'll also be the first to know about special offers and receive an instant discount.

Pregnant and Stressed Out! Here are some ways to deal with the stress of pregnancy

Whether you're young or old, experienced or inexperienced, pregnancy can wreak havoc on your mind and body.  Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to help ease some of the stress. 

Are you getting enough vitamin "Z"?
Joking aside, not getting the proper amount of deep, regenerative sleep can seriously impact one's health, specifically that of a pregnant woman.  Be sure you aren't pushing yourself too hard.  Go to bed early.  Sleep a little later.  And don't be afraid to take a few cat naps during the day.  Being pregnant means that your body is not just working to support one life, but two (or more in some cases).  So give it the rest it needs.  Trying to rest, but finding it difficult due to body heat and abdominal discomfort?  Try taking a cold shower right before slipping into the sheets.  Or, keep a few extra fans by your bedside.   

Time management.
Unfortunately, the world can't slow down long enough for us to get everything done and still have time to relax.  Sometimes you just have to make time.  Prioritize your to-do list and scratch of anything that does not absolutely have to be done today.  And then, if at all possible, rearrange it so that everything you need to do can be done all at once, at the beginning of each day.  This way, once you're finished, you can grab a seat, a box of cookies and not move for the rest of the night!

(** when weeding less important tasks out of your schedule, be firm with yourself.  the rest of the world may not remember to slow things down for you, so you have to slow things down for yourself.  it's ok to say no once in a while.)

Cutting corners can be a good thing.
Don't let the cost of a new baby stress you out.  You could save a ton of money simply by borrowing and not buying.  Maternity clothes, toys, books, and other basic necessities could be just the things a friend or neighbor is looking to get off their hands for a while.  Remember, not everything has to be new.  It may seem important now, but all of those material possessions you've acquired will pale in comparison when the baby finally arrives.

You've got to move it move it!
While you should never strain yourself or endanger your baby by working out at a pace you aren't used to, a few light movements and exercises each morning can easily bring a little extra sunshine into your day.  

Know when to say when.
These days it isn't uncommon to see women working through the early stages of their pregnancy.  However, to do this, you have to know your limits.  Pushing yourself to do too much too fast will only add stress to your life and the babies environment.

Make yourself comfortable.
Get a manicure, a pedicure, a massage!  Nobody really knows how tired you are or how much you ache but you, so step up and take care of yourself!

Have a support system.
Whether it be your folks, your friends, or just your hubby, have someone their for you when you need it.  Let's face it, hormones can be a bear to deal with during pregnancy.  Don't be afraid to express what you are really feeling.  A good support system will understand and help you get a handle on things.

This blog post was provided by Stephanie Parker – our blog writer extraordinaire!