New Siblings! How to soften the blow for your older baby, toddler, or child

When a new baby is born into the family it's easy to get caught up in the excitement.  Friends and relatives fly in from all over.  Just about everyone wants to 'ooh' and 'ahh' over the new little bundle of joy.  Everyone...except big brother or sister, that is.  Of course, in one or two years time the odds are your eldest and your youngest will have formed a special bond that only siblings can share.  But, until then, here are some tips on how to deal with the 'green eyed monster' growing in your little one...

Offer a little one-on-one attention
Toy trucks and coloring books are nice, but they are no substitute for the undivided attention of mom and/or dad.  Try setting aside a day or two within the first few weeks of the baby's birth just for your big boy/girl.  And be sure to make good on this promise.  Letting him/her down this early in your young child's birth could create serious tension between your children later on.  You can be sure that grandma would be more than happy to sit with her new grand baby for an afternoon.  Have more than one 'big'?  Try creating 'gift certificates' for time with mom and/or dad. This way you can space out your days away from baby, and your big kids will have a tangible reminder that you will fulfill your promise.

Something of their own
Sometimes all your older child needs is to feel important.  By giving them a baby doll of their own to clothe, feed, change, burp, and more, you are giving them an important responsibility that they wouldn't otherwise be able to handle due to the actual new baby's delicate stage.  Be sure and spend some of your attention focusing on their new baby, as well.  Set a pretend birth date for the doll.  You might even celebrate it a little early with some pretend gifts and real and yummy cake.

Be proud
Let them now that being older is just as special as being younger.  Try creating a T-Shirt that announces that they are a 'Big Brother' or 'Big Sister'.    Remember to share with them all the things that make being older special.  Talk to them about what a privilege it is to be able to talk, walk, and do things for themselves.  Explain that their new little brother/sister will be watching them for examples of how to be 'big'.

Celebrate!
With all of the friends and relatives hanging around the new baby, it's no wonder your child may still be feeling left out and jealous.  Use everyone's presence to your advantage.  Throw a party for the big brother/sister.  All you really need is a cake that says 'Big Brother' or 'Big Sister' and a card or balloons.  You can explain to them that because it is a celebration, you don't even need presents!  All you need to celebrate is a reason and some friends to invite.  However, if you like, you can always purchase a few inexpensive gifts for the occasion.

You don't have to break the bank
A few simple and inexpensive ways to say 'I still love you, too' can be books about being an older sibling, or CDs and DVDs about the subject.   Another completely free way would be for you or your spouse to sit down and share your memories of being either an older sibling, or a younger sibling that looked up to your older sister/brother.

Craft time
Sit down as a family and make something!  It doesn't have to be complicated.  Simple hand-print art would do.  You might try decorating a pillow case using fabric paint and everyone's hand-print.  You could also use plaster of paris in a pie tin to create some unique family wall art.

Put it in writing
Another great idea is to create a special certificate, by hand or on the computer, and present this to your oldest child.  Be sure to sign it yourself.  And don't be afraid to be silly about it.  Acting too serious all of the time may make your child feel patronized.  Play pretend knights and have him/her dubbed 'royal big brother/sister' in your little kingdom.  Go one step further and frame it when the ceremony is over.

Step it up
Sometimes the best gift for your oldest child can be something practical and personal.  Try personalizing a stepping stool with their name on it and presenting that to them.  Explain how they can use this to help mom or dad in the kitchen, be taller at the bathroom sink, climb in and out of their new 'big boy/girl' bed, and even look in on the baby in his/her crib.

Worth a thousand words
Take your bunch over to the portrait studio, or just snap a few shots at home.  Get these photos laminated, framed, or even hung up on the wall.  Make sure both kids have one to place in their rooms.  This will show your oldest that even the baby wants a picture with their big brother/sister.  While you are behind the lens, be sure to snap a few extras of the big boy/girl by himself/herself.  This will remind them that they can still take the spotlight every now and then.

This blog post was provided by Stephanie Parker - our blog writer extraordinaire!